A recent poll on LinkedIn verified what I anticipated. Most of us have been betrayed.

I have been in business for almost 40 years and elected to keep “outside” investors away from my company. Best decision I ever made, and the most difficult way to build a successful business.

At the same time, I have dealt with some jerks over the years.

Liars, cheaters, scoundrels, manipulators.

We live in a world of people desperate to make money and win at all costs. The price they pay, anything required, including being dishonest and manipulative.

I’ve had to walk away from lucrative deals because the people I was working with were horrible human beings that weren’t worth the trouble.

In business, its easy for me to recognize toxic people before they become a problem.

For almost 40 years I have developed an aptitude for smelling deceit and I avoid pretenders like the plague.

Sometimes the people that betray us are family, friends, and intimate partners.

The sting of betrayal bites and it can leave a lasting impression. It can also be very costly emotionally and financially.

So how do we improve our ability to recognize betrayal before it happens?

TO BE GREAT AT SEEING BETRAYAL LOOK FOR 9 WARNING SIGNS:

01. DISTANCE

Betrayers start to create physical and emotional distance. They are conveniently unavailable and no longer respond to text messages and phone calls. Business partners may start excluding you from important conversations or meetings. If you feel someone is pushing you aside, beware.

02. UNCHARACTERISTIC

Close friends and business associates eventually let their guard down. The mask in removed when trust develops. When relationships start to crumble, some people put the mask back on. If someone starts acting differently, be suspicious and recognize someone is acting uncharacteristically.

03. INACCURATE PERCEPTION

If someone’s view of themselves is inconsistent with reality, pay attention. This is normally the sign of low self-awareness and big ego. When people see themselves as a smart, intelligent, mindful but their behavior contradicts their self-assessment, watch out. These people often have inaccurate views of their friends, partners, and business associates. It’s easy to betray someone we see inaccurately based on a biased perception of ourselves.

04. POOR LISTENING

Betrayers loose interest in our life and their listening skills are abhorrent. They clearly lack interest in whatever we say and their commitment to the relationship is casual. Untrustworthy people loiter in the relationship and lack genuine dedication to being a good friend, business partner or colleague.

05. SELFISH

Betrayers are socially selfish and have their own best interest at heart. Selfishness is a clear sign you are dealing with someone who will never invest the time and energy into having a healthy relationship. These people lose interest in everything fast and don’t make good partners personally or professionally. They lack commitment to anything that doesn’t serve their best interest.

06. CONTROL

Betrayers seek control and power. When people gaslight, they are creating confusion and doubt. They are manipulators and lie effortlessly. Good friends, quality business partners seek balance and mutual reciprocity in their relationships.

07. REACTION

Watch how people react when conflict arises. People inclined to betray someone are easily provoked and become defensive. When someone flares up when a conversation gets tenuous, beware. You might be dealing with someone that is hiding someone and their secret may cause you harm.

08. INCONSISTENT

Ever had a flaky friend or business associate? I sure have. These people are uncommitted to the relationship and their lack of dedication creates frustration and consumes valuable time. Better to cut them loose. The problem, their time is more important than anyone else’s. These people cancel at the last minute and string people along. Beware.

09. LOOSE TONGUE

People that gossip and engage in third party conversations are always a red flag. They talk about other people and use your secrets to disparage your reputation. Never do business with people that have a loose tongue and talk about other people more than they discuss ideas, innovation, and solutions. Watch out for friends that enjoy this form of social stimulation as well.

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